Kale, Trash and Time

My boyfriend is fond of telling me that you can’t ‘make time.’ He is far too practical, and doesn’t realize the time-bending powers of someone who has their plate way over loaded with dirty dishes, flying trash cans, and impending goat babies. I’ve done nothing but MAKE TIME this week, because 24 hours has yet to prove itself worthy.

And what does this mean for the kitchen? Well, very little unfortunately. Between massive work deadlines, and planning for our goat farm, I have been sustaining myself on trail mix and coffee. For someone who claimed that they would never be handcuffed to a desk job, my life has sure taken a monotonous turn recently. Not only am I hand-cuffed, my butt has been securely cemented in my plush swivel office chair, 10 hours a day— for the past week.

Top that off with this little gem of a disaster that slammed itself into my life this week: There I was, driving down the road, minding my own business— only running 10 minutes late to work, instead of the usual 25— when all of a sudden BOOM. A wall of force slammed into the passenger door. Screeching to a halt, my poor Subi acted as the tennis net for a very large, oblong-shaped ball. The scene was grim. The entire front side of my car was mangled like a used dog bone. The culprit of this ‘act of god’ (as I would later find out the insurance company calls accidents they don’t plan to cover): the neighbor’s empty trashcan, flung at me with the velocity of 90 mph winds.

Suffice to say any unused minutes did not go towards cooking this week.  That was until tonight, when I used my magic time powers to create enough time to prepare actual food. Something that was fresh, leafy, and good for me, all ready in less than 30 minutes. Trash cans, 90 mph winds and hundreds of mounting emails be damned— I’m eating dinner. Don’t worry, I’ll make enough for the unbelievers to have some too.

Crash Course: How to make healthy food, fast

Kale Caesar Salad with Toasted Croutons

Here is a healthy twist on the classic 1960’s salad. I have been eating lots of kale lately, but was craving a quick and fresh way to eat my favorite winter green. Raw Kale has the same crunchy texture of traditional romaine lettuce, with the added boost of Vitamin A, D, and K. The tangy, textured green tastes great with a creamy Caesar dressing, crunchy no-frill croutons and shavings of sharp Parmesan cheese. My step-dad, who ‘doesn’t eat no hippy food crap,’ gobbled this quick dinner entrée right up. The health factor won’t hurt you, I promise.

Servings: 4                       

Active time: 15 min                       

Total time: 30 min

You’ll Need:

- 3 pieces sandwich bread

- 1 tsp. olive oil

- Pinch salt

- Pinch pepper

- Jar with a tight fitting lid

- 2 large garlic cloves

- 4 anchovies

- 1 tsp. Dijon mustard

- 1 tbsp. + 1 tsp. fresh lemon juice

- 3 tbsp. Olive Oil

- 1 egg

- 1 large bunch dinosaur kale

- Fresh-grated Parmesan or Asiago cheese

1.     Stack pieces of bread on top of each other, and cut into one-inch cubes. Spread out on cookie sheet, drizzle with 1 tsp. oil, and salt and pepper. Toss. Bake on 375 F for 10 minutes, or until golden brown.

The only bread I had on hand was rye. While this worked fine, I would not recommend it if you have other options. Sourdough or wheat sandwich bread will work the best.

2.     Break open garlic cloves by applying pressure with the flat side of a chef’s knife. Mince cloves, and add to jar.

3.     Drain canned anchovies of oil or water, and dice, adding to jar.

Anchovies are super high in Omega-3 fatty acids— a nutrient known to protect against heart disease and promote brain health‑— which means the little fish is super good for you. It is also true that anchovies that come from a can are very high in sodium. Not to worry, use the salt-packed fish to your advantage. You don’t need to add any extra salt to the recipe, the dish will taste well-seasoned, and you won’t overload your daily value of sodium. The fish has you covered. I promise.

4.     Continue to combine Dijon mustard, 1 tbsp. lemon juice and olive oil into jar.

1 tbsp. of fresh-squeezed lemon juice is approximately half of a large lemon. To avoid getting seeds in juice, hand squeeze with the open-cut side of the lemon facing up into your palm. In this way the juice will be squeezed out and over the side of the lemon, while the seeds stay in the fruit.

5.     Add raw egg, close jar tightly, and shake to emulsify dressing (about 20 seconds). Taste dressing, if more lemon is needed add remaining 1 tsp. of lemon juice. Shake for another 30 seconds.

Raw egg may sound scary, but it is the necessary ingredient in a real Caesar dressing. Originally invented in Tijuana, Mexico by a man named Caesar who owned an Italian Restaurant, the salad was meant to be prepared table-side. The dressing was whipped up, tossed in salad, and served immediately for the guest to enjoy. You should think of your salad in the same way, eaten immediately after it is made, your salad will taste the best, and the raw factor will do the least harm.

6.     Wash Kale, and pat dry with paper towels. Cut (or tear) leaves into 1-inch pieces. Place in salad bowl.

I recommend- since you are eating this veggie raw- to choose organic, if possible. I used dinosaur, aka lacinato Kale here, because I like the texture, but you can use any type of kale you prefer.

7.     Pour half of dressing over greens, and toss to coast evenly. Add additional dressing to taste. Top with fresh toasted croutons, and plenty of fresh-grated cheese.

8.     Enjoy a well-deserved meal.